Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this today after Hu Jintao was named in-chief of the Communist Party in China...
HU`S ON FIRST
by James Sherman
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What`s happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That`s what I want to know. Condi: That`s what I`m telling you. George: That`s what I`m asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow`s name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The Chinaman! Condi: Hu is leding China. George: Now whaddya` asking me for? Condi: I`m telling you Hu is leading China. George: Well, I`m asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That`s the man`s name. George: That`s who`s name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader in China? Condi: Yes sir. George: Yasser?! Yasser Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi: That`s correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi: Yes sir. George: Yasser is in China? Condi: No sir. George: Then who is? Condi: Yes sir. George: Yasser? Condi: No, sir. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi: You don`t want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk, then get me the U.N. Condi: Yes sir. George: Not Yasser! The guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N.? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars... Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice here. George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
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